Eating When You’re NOT Hungry

2009 November 13
by KatieP

eating-not-hungry

The first instruction of intuitive eating or inner wisdom nutrition is to eat when you are hungry. What happens when you decide to eat when you’re not really hungry? Is this failure, is this a new way to ‘fall off the wagon’ or is this to be expected?

Intuitive Eating Might Arrive with Emotional Pain

When I gave up dieting and started eating according to my hunger, I was in a very confronting transitional place. I was allowing myself to feel things I had kept hidden my whole life. I was admitting my darkest secrets to myself and to the world. I experienced a lot of emotional pain and the only way I knew how to cope was with food.

Although I haven’t had an if I eat another thing I will explode junk food feeding frenzy since September 11, I have both eaten when I wasn’t hungry and kept eating past fullness.

There is no failure or guilt attached to eating when you are NOT hungry if you use the experience to learn and grow.

What Just Happened?

Pause briefly to reflect on what made you feel like eating something when you weren’t hungry. Was it the environment, the sight or smell of the food, an uncomfortable emotion (boredom, loneliness, sadness) or your physical state (cold, tired, sore)? You don’t have to DO anything except notice what is going on.

I am choosing to eat a Krispy Kreme Donut (or a bag of dates) even though I’m not really hungry because I saw them on the way home (at the shop) and I am stressed and cold.

Let Go of the Judgement

Don’t beat yourself up for breaking the rules, or letting yourself down. When we feel guilty and ashamed it is because we’ve done something we consider to be morally wrong. There is no right or wrong way to eat so there is no need to feel guilt or shame. Refer to your legitimate, factual reasons above.

It doesn’t mean I am a bad person or immoral because I ate a Donut (bag of dates) when I wasn’t hungry. I am still learning this new way of eating and it is normal for naturally slender people to occasionally have a treat when they are feeling the way I do.

What Would WEK Do?

Consider what your wonderfully evolved future self would do in this situation. Even if you suspect she might not eat the Donut (whole bag of dates), you can still eat it/them anyway. The benefit is in visualising a future where you will find alternative ways to find comfort, not in struggling to do what you think you should be doing.

Wonderfully evolved Katie will know how to find relief from her discomfort or not be in this position in the first place (she’s probably wearing thermal underwear if it’s cold). I am closer to being her that I was yesterday and even though there might be bumps in the road I am still on the right path.

Eat Even More Mindfully

Eat slowly and savour every mouthful ~ make the Donut (bag of dates) last as long as you possibly can. Bless that Donut (dates) with love and gratitude and invite that clever body of yours to use what it needs and get rid of what it doesn’t.

Decide whether your treat actually tastes better than fresh strawberries or your favourite natural whole food. If it does, then relish the experience. If it doesn’t, say goodbye to craving it at all ever again. If your indulgence is a large quantity of natural whole food, try to determine at what point your taste buds start shutting down and it doesn’t taste so good any more.

Thank you God/Universe for this wonderful food that is nourishment for my body and for my soul. I transform it into easily digestible nutrients through love and gratitude. I trust my body’s ability to keep what it needs and to eliminate what it doesn’t. I am using this moment to practice eating slowly, consciously and mindfully. I am choosing to take great care of myself by savouring each bite and accepting myself exactly as I am right here and right now.

Wait Until You’re Hungry Again

Chances are, that as grandma says, “You’ve spoiled your dinner”. Wait until you are truly hungry again before you eat your next meal. You don’t have to eat lightly or eat less to compensate but be open to the possibility that a small light meal is all you want.

I’ll have a salad later I think, I’m still full from afternoon tea.

What Would You Like Instead?

Imagine what might happen the next time you are in the same situation and think of what you would like instead. This programs your brain to find other solutions for next time. It is like a dress rehearsal in your head.

Next time I’m cold and stressed I’m going to go home first, have a hot shower and a cup of tea. If I still want a treat then, I’ll go and get one. Maybe I could buy myself a magazine instead or some new perfume rather than food. I could also wait until dinner and order in something really special rather than those leftovers waiting in the fridge.

Get Excited

“Healing comes from living consciously and loving yourself with all your imperfections.”

Strange as it may seem, the darkest moments are signposts that a breakthrough is coming. Every single time I have let go of my ’self control’ and allowed myself to indulge my cravings I have shortly thereafter experienced days of wonder and bliss. Healing comes from living consciously and loving yourself with all your imperfections. There is no other pathway to change.

You Always Get to Choose

There is no good or bad, right or wrong, better or worse. There is just what you choose freely from an open heart. When you fully participate in all your choices and own them as part of your unique experience then you are growing and learning.

Did You Know …

  • Eating is an issue of self-care, not moral correctness.An analogy can make this easier to see. Your body needs sleep as well as nutrition. Do you feel wracked with guilt and shame if you stay up all night? You may feel annoyed with yourself when you’re tired the next day, but you don’t feel guilt and shame. You know that it’s your right to stay up all night if you choose, even if it’s not the best choice for your health.

    It’s the same with eating. You have the right to eat whatever you want, whenever you want, and however much you want. You are responsible for your own self-care, but your right to choose what you eat is absolute. There’s nothing to feel guilty about. ~ Sheryl Canter

→ photo : Rodrigo Basaure

20 Responses leave one →
  1. 2009 November 13
    Cathy permalink

    Hi Katie,
    For me to seperate emotional eating or boredom eating from real hunger, I ask myself if I’m hungry enough to eat an apple? if I wouldn’t be then it’s not real hunger and I’d pause and make a decision. This has helped me a few times.
    Thanks for your awesome posts!

    • 2009 November 13

      Hi Cathy
      Hungry enough to eat an apple sounds like a good strategy, although maybe I should use bananas instead because I LOVE bananas. x

  2. 2009 November 13
    Mish permalink

    Thank you. Thank you. Thank You.

  3. 2009 November 13
    Shelley permalink

    Gotta dash but loved this post and want to tell you what happened to me last night and this morning. I’ll email later.

    xxxxxxx

  4. 2009 November 13
    Magda permalink

    Hi Katie,

    this is a great post and I think that life isnt and never will be a string of “perfect eating” experiences where we only eat when we’re hungry and stop when we’re full. (As if!!) We must learn to accept that we always will be less than perfect and making a bad choice doesnt make us a bad or less worthy person.

    I binged last Friday for a variety of reasons but the big difference was that I didnt then beat myself up over it. I didnt allow myself to wallow in self pity and misery and feel like a worthless failure. I acknowledged that I made some bad choices and then put it behind me and got on with loving life. End of story.

    :-) Magda

    • 2009 November 13

      I reckon that if you don’t beat yourself up after over-eating it doesn’t qualify as a binge. You ate past hungry but you didn’t binge in my book because it is the self pity and misery that does the damage. You go girl x

  5. 2009 November 13

    I like that ‘Did you Know’ quote. Thanks!

    • 2009 November 13

      Thanks Charlotte ~ it makes sense to treat eating like any other necessary bodily function.

  6. 2009 November 13
    Brandie permalink

    This is another great post! I’m FINALLY getting to where I don’t feel guilty when I overeat or eat something that I previously wasn’t allowed to because of whatever strict diet I was on (and boy did I ever miss carbs).

    My binge eating has gone down a lot, and I think it’s because I don’t restrict my foods or beat myself up verbally after I overeat/binge anymore. I’m still working on eliminating my boredom eating though, some evenings I find myself graze eating all night until bed, other nights I’m fine with a cup of tea and a little applesauce (which was previously a no no on my last diet :) ) after dinner.
    As you’ve said, it’s a journey, and it’s one I’m learning from every day!

    Brandie

    • 2009 November 13

      Sounds like you are doing a wonderful job Brandie.

      Maybe think of a positive way to re-frame “working on eliminating boredom eating”. What would you like instead … perhaps “being fully satisfied, content and peaceful after eating dinner and enjoying my evening down time as a special time to rest and renew”?

      I am so glad you are on this wonderful journey too. ♥

      • 2009 November 14
        Brandie permalink

        “being fully satisfied, content and peaceful after eating dinner and enjoying my evening down time as a special time to rest and renew”
        I like that! What I’ve been doing is trying to be more mindful of my eating. I’m writing down in general what I eat and what time, (not as anal as I was when I was dieting instead it’s like your twitter updates) and have it on the fridge that way when I go to eat more I can see ‘Oh, I just ate 45min ago, I’m probably not hungry, just bored’ So far it’s working to make me more mindful of my eating :)

    • 2009 November 14

      Hi Brandie ~ I like the twitter approach (I’m following you now) because it is not counting anything just being conscious of what I eat.

  7. 2009 November 13

    Fantastic post Katie,
    awesome job kiddo :)

  8. 2009 November 14
    Miss Tank permalink

    hand on heart – i forget the last time I binged – easy be over 18mths ago…..i used to – heaps, but one day i woke up and thought “food is ALWAYS going to be in abundance, there is no need to abuse it or myself like this”

    it stopped and never returned…thank fuck…i won’t forget the shame, embarrassment, cost, coverups, physical sickness and emotional crap after a binge – it was awful…..

    Love your body, it’s the one and only one we have in this lifetime x

    • 2009 November 14

      Good on you for not bingeing ~ I love your body too … it’s fricken HOT :P

  9. 2009 November 14

    Awesome post Katie. Also, liked your comment “if you don’t beat yourself up after over-eating it doesn’t qualify as a binge. You ate past hungry but you didn’t binge in my book because it is the self pity and misery that does the damage” – I reckon you might be on to something there.
    Thankyou.
    Jen

    • 2009 November 14

      Hey Jen ~ I’m following your journey and sending love and support across time and space ♥

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